Monday, December 10, 2007

Strange Day

Well,I sit here and am completely overwhelmed by fatigue. Even though I managed to get 7 hours of sleep last night, I am so completely exhausted.

I am at the point where I am going to fall asleep at my desk. As I sit here studying, I am having partial visual and auditory hallucinations. I "snap out of it" right before I answer the person. It's strange, it seems like a melding of two worlds; the present one (at work) and a different one.

I've never (to my recollection) experienced anything like this. It's so strange. I just want to lay down...

I wonder what my co-worker thinks

To make matters worse, I called my doctor's office to confirm my appointment for next week and they told me that she is no longer seeing patients and that I will be referred to a pain management center here in town.

Well, I guess that's it for now.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Well, I just decided that since I haven;t posted in a while that I should. Today, I feel exhausted. There's no other way to put it. I could put my head down at my desk and sleep for hours.

It's cold outside; around 32 degrees, and although I love the cold weather, today I am in a great deal of pain, especially with my legs and upper back/shoulder area.

On days like this, I pray that I can get to work early enough to get one of the availabl disabled parking spots as the lot fills up pretty fast.

I guess that's it for now.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Do you ever have one of those days when we sort of feel better than yesterday, buit still feel like junk?

Yesterday, I made a comitment to post regularly on this blog for several reasons; one, to track and make some sense of my condition and two, to hopefully help others.

This morning, I am in pain and discomfort. It is bad, but more discomfort and exhaustion than pain... I think.

My shoulders, back and legs really ache this morning. My left knee burns so bad.

It's bad when you can't get comfortable at work. I often wish that I had a couch to lie down on because our work chairs are VERY old (~10 years) it seems and offer little comfort and NO back support as they can't lock in an upright position.

Monday, September 17, 2007

It's been another long time since I've psoted, but felt like I need to write today.

Today is a really rough day for me. It started off as early. I had to be at work at 5:00AM just in case there were any preproduction problems at work.

It is now only 6:45 and I am overwhelmed with pain and fatigue. My enite body hurts... burning pain in my shoulders, back and thighs... stabbing pain in just about everywhere else. I just came back from the restroom where I soaked my hands in hot water to help with the pain.

I really don't understand what coud've set this off. I didn't have a stressfull weekend.

I just want to curl up in a corner and sleep. I pray that today goes well and for strength from the Lord to make it through today.

I also wanted to mention that for personal reasons, I am assigning a "pain number" to how I am feeling to help me track what's going on.

This is a good thing as I've always wanted to, but never did for some reason. Anyway, today is an 8. It's really bad. I expect that if it gets more than an 8, that I will be in no position to post anything.

Monday, June 4, 2007

It's time

Well, it's been a long time since I've posted, so I wanted to journal what I'm going through right now.

Yesterday , June 3, 2007, I went to church with the kids and about a 1/2 hou from the end of the sermon, I started feeling exhausted for no reason. My legs, arms and hands got really achy and sore.

I came home and Diana got me some medicine and I took a hot bath to loosen my muscles up abd then took a brief nap.

Later, last night, we went to a Smal Group meeting. I was hurting the entire way through. When I got home, Diana again gave me medicine and I webt to bed.

This morning, I feel better; not a lot better, but better. I still have ached and pains, but can;t do much dince I'm at work. I feel tired and sore.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Today is Fibeomyalgia Awareness Day

This is cross-posted from my other blog.

Today, May 12, 2007 is National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. Fibro-ma-what?!?! Fibromyalgia is a condition that affects a large number of people, including myself, but is not widely known or understood, even among the medical professionals.

Fibromyalgia or FMS is a chronic pain illness characterized by widespread musculoskeletal aches, pain, and stiffness, soft tissue tenderness, general fatigue, and sleep disturbances. The most common sites of pain include the neck, back, shoulders, pelvic girdle, and hands, but any body part can be affected. Fibromyalgia patients experience a range of symptoms of varying intensities that wax and wane over time.

The symptoms of Fibromyalgia include:

The pain of FM is profound, widespread and chronic. It knows no boundaries, migrating to all parts of the body and varying in intensity. FM pain has been described as deep muscular aching, throbbing, twitching, stabbing and shooting pain. Neurological complaints such as numbness, tingling and burning are often present and add to the discomfort of the patient. The severity of the pain and stiffness is often worse in the morning. Aggravating factors that affect pain include cold/humid weather, non-restorative sleep, physical and mental fatigue, excessive physical activity, physical inactivity, anxiety and stress.

In today's world many people complain of fatigue; however, the fatigue of FM is much more than being tired. It is an all-encompassing exhaustion that interferes with even the simplest daily activities. It feels like every drop of energy has been drained from the body, which at times can leave the patient with a limited ability to function both mentally and physically.

Sleep Problems:
Many fibromyalgia patients have an associated sleep disorder that prevents them from getting deep, restful, restorative sleep. Medical researchers have documented specific and distinctive abnormalities in the stage 4 deep sleep of FM patients. During sleep, individuals with FM are constantly interrupted by bursts of awake-like brain activity, limiting the amount of time they spend in deep sleep.

Other Symptoms:
Additional symptoms may include: irritable bowel and bladder, headaches and migraines, restless legs syndrome (periodic limb movement disorder), impaired memory and concentration, skin sensitivities and rashes, dry eyes and mouth, anxiety, depression, ringing in the ears, dizziness, vision problems, Raynaud's Syndrome, neurological symptoms, and impaired coordination.

I once read an incredible analogy of what having Fibro means; it's called the Spoon Theory. Although it's written by a lady with Lupus, but the theory still appies to all fibro sufferers. It is worth a look at it.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Just an Update

Wow, I can't believe that it's been so long since my previous post. I really don't know what to say right now except that this is s short update. Today is a bad day, pain-wise. I have burning pain in my left thigh that's been unrelenting since 4:15 this morning. I cannot describe the intensity of it, but it's stong enough to overshadow most of my other pains yesterday.

I am also VERY exhausted and feel like I can fall asleep while sitting here. I really wish that I could just go to sleep right now. I pray that God gives me strength to make it through today and to help me make wise decisions.

It's odd that during the days between my posts, I seem to forget about this blog and don't post, when I should. I find it to be very theraputic to write down whatever is going through my brain at the time. Sometimes it's not much.. LOL

Well, I guess that's about it for now.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Brain Zaps

I know that it sounds weird, but I've been having an "unusual" feeling in my head acompanied by dizziness and mild nausea. In looking through some of the withdrawal side effects of Cymbalta, I found one called "brain zaps" or "brain shocks". In looking it up, I discovered that that is probably what I am having. Any rapid movement of my eyes or head causes these "zaps".

Wikipedia says that,

The brain shiver effect appears to be almost unique to those antidepressant chemicals that have an extremely short half-life in the body; that is, they are quick to disappear completely. This attribute of abruptness leaves the brain a relatively short time to adapt to a major neurochemical change when the medication is stopped, and the symptoms may be caused by the brain's readjustment. There is no evidence that the shivers present any danger to the patient experiencing them.


Oh boy, I don't know where to start. Let's see... today is the 4th day since I've stopped taking Cymbalta. I started feeling dizzy yesterday afternoon. It lasted on into the night and is still with me today. I also feel tired, yet jittery.

Although my darling wife arranged for me to get some time for sleep yesterday, my fatigue is pretty strong today. what reaslly stinks is that today is my "meeting day" at work. I have four meetings scheduled for today and don't know how I'm going to NOT come across as "bored" during them. To make matters worse, the meetings are very unstructured; are backto-back, drag on forever and we have the most uncomfortable 1/2 back chairs in the office world.

Well, I guess I should run and grab some coffee before it all starts.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


I have been experiencing hypnagogic hallucinations. This is a dream-like state with auditory or visual hallucinations, while dozing off or falling asleep. I also seem to be falling asleep in the middle of conversations with my wife. I can't seem to help it and my wonderful wife thinks that I am being insensitive to what she is saying and what her needs are.

I am also in Day 2 of my withdrawal from Cymbalta. I currently feel lousy. I am in pain all over my body and am REALLY sleepy.

I've read that people who stop taking Cymbalta have weeks of withdrawals because it is such a powerful drug. I certainly hope that that is not the case.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


Well, I just spoke to my wife who was going to the county clerks office to pick up my disabled placard and she said that the clerk told her that we didn't have the right form. What?!?! That was the form from THEIR website. Needless to say, she didn't get the placard, but did pick up the correct form that she will be taking to the doctor for me when she goes for her appointment this Thursday.

By the way, in case you are wondering, the only difference between the 2 forms is that the newer one has one line moved to another area of the paper and that area now has a box around it. To me, this is rediculous...

Monday, March 12, 2007

Disabled Parking

Well, it's been a while since my previous post. I have been back to my doctor for med refills and had decided ahead of time to ask her for to sign for a disabled parking placard for me. She gladly did it. Now, at least, I'll be able to walk shorter distances to work, etc. I actually counted the steps that it takes to get from the building where I work to the CORNER of the parking lot, let alone the walk to the spot, and it is over 1/2 mile!

This placard will help in that I can at least park at the 1/2 mile marker... LOL

Cymbalta Withdrawal

Today I spoke with my doctor and we talked about my elevated liver enzymes. We talked about the possibility of Cymbalta being the cause. She didn't want to take a chance, so she asked me to stop taking them. Because I had capsules, I could not taper down the dosage, so she asked me to quit cold turkey.

I know that in the past, when I missed a dosem, that I would have violent dreams and generally feel miserable.

Monday, February 19, 2007


I mentioned before about talking about symptoms. Well, today it seems that I need to talk about being sleepy. Last night I got about 5 hours sleep. That is an occasional thing as I usually try to get around 7 hours of sleep.

I feel so exhausted today and it's terrible!To make matters worse, today is one of my "long days" I had to be in at 5am and will probably work to 4pm. I pray for strength for this.

Anyway, back to the tiredness. Every feel like you were up all night for the past 3 nights partying and then were hit by a truck? You'd feel achy and so tired. That's what it feels like right now. I'lll go through times of From feeling tired to exhausted.'s website has a good definition of tired as:

In today's world many people complain of fatigue; however, the fatigue of FM is much more than being tired. It is an all-encompassing exhaustion that interferes with even the simplest daily activities. It feels like every drop of energy has been drained from the body, which at times can leave the patient with a limited ability to function both mentally and physically.

I can barely stay awake and am waiting until lunch time so I can go take a nap in the car.

I would like to stop being tired all the time.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Bowling?!?! - What was I thinking?

It's been a few days, so I wanted to write about what's been happening. This past week, two of our kids have had chorus rehearsals and have had performances this past Thursday and Friday.

The long days during the week have been pretty rough, but yesterday, I took a few of the kids bowling. Well, needless to say, we had a great time! The kids beat me.

Today, though (actually, it started last night) I am hurting and am taking Lortab to try to help deal with the pain.

Unfortunately, it doesn't help with the tiredness.

Well, I guess that' s all for now.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Fibro Fog

Now that I have the first post behind me on my fibrolog, I've decided to tackle some of the symptoms that I feel on a one-on-one basis to better detail them and hopefully help someone else who is suffering.

The topic of this post is one of the most alarming to me personally. It's one of "cognative disfunction". That's the term that I've given it to describe my thought processes at times.

As I've said, my cognative dysfunction is among the most troublesome to me. This is because, although I've never completed college but I've prided myself on being faily intelligent. As a teenager, my IQ was tested and said to be 168. I've received an academic scholarship to college, been tested to perform in excess of my current developmental level, been on the college "Brain Bowl" team, received a 99 score on the ASVAB, 96 for police academy, etc. and found myself conversant on a number of topics and issues, but things change.

I can't remember the first time that I noticed my cognative difficulties, but it was somewhere around the beginning of 2006.

My "episodes" would manifest as either a spacey, cloudy or numb feeling in my head that would make feel like my brain was on vacation. These times would occur daily, sometimes several times a day. In retrospect, I remember as a young teenager that I would have "staring episodes." I read in the school library that these were called "petite mals" and were somewhat normal.

My current dysfunctional episodes cause me to lose track of conversations and tasks. I would routinely forget peoples names, and procedures for doing tasks related to my job. I've often said, "Sorry, my train of thought just derailed." There are times where I have to reread or rethink things over and over again to process them.

I also forget things like conversations and whether or not I've taken my medicine. While speaking with someone, I will "fade out" in the middle of a conversation. I usually "fade back in" a few seconds or minutes later. Sometimes, it's noticeable to the person that I'm talking with, especially if I can't remember what we were talking about; oftimes it's not, which is good.

Either way, it is extremely disheartening and somewhat embarrasing when it happens.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


Hello and welcome to My Fibro Site! I've started this blog to chronicle the "adventures" that I have regarding fibromyalgia.

The name of the site comes from an article that I read that mentioned the number of people that suffer from this condition/syndrom/disease.

Although this blog was started in 2007, I have merged entries from a previous journal that I was keeping in 2003 that detailed my initial onset of symptoms and my wife's desire for me to seek medical attention.