Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Fibro Fog

Now that I have the first post behind me on my fibrolog, I've decided to tackle some of the symptoms that I feel on a one-on-one basis to better detail them and hopefully help someone else who is suffering.

The topic of this post is one of the most alarming to me personally. It's one of "cognative disfunction". That's the term that I've given it to describe my thought processes at times.

As I've said, my cognative dysfunction is among the most troublesome to me. This is because, although I've never completed college but I've prided myself on being faily intelligent. As a teenager, my IQ was tested and said to be 168. I've received an academic scholarship to college, been tested to perform in excess of my current developmental level, been on the college "Brain Bowl" team, received a 99 score on the ASVAB, 96 for police academy, etc. and found myself conversant on a number of topics and issues, but things change.

I can't remember the first time that I noticed my cognative difficulties, but it was somewhere around the beginning of 2006.

My "episodes" would manifest as either a spacey, cloudy or numb feeling in my head that would make feel like my brain was on vacation. These times would occur daily, sometimes several times a day. In retrospect, I remember as a young teenager that I would have "staring episodes." I read in the school library that these were called "petite mals" and were somewhat normal.

My current dysfunctional episodes cause me to lose track of conversations and tasks. I would routinely forget peoples names, and procedures for doing tasks related to my job. I've often said, "Sorry, my train of thought just derailed." There are times where I have to reread or rethink things over and over again to process them.

I also forget things like conversations and whether or not I've taken my medicine. While speaking with someone, I will "fade out" in the middle of a conversation. I usually "fade back in" a few seconds or minutes later. Sometimes, it's noticeable to the person that I'm talking with, especially if I can't remember what we were talking about; oftimes it's not, which is good.

Either way, it is extremely disheartening and somewhat embarrasing when it happens.

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